Saturday, 29 October 2011

Fear and trembling... and battle metal

♫ Sonata Arctica – Tallulah

Damn damn, I wish I had had time to update my blog earlier during the week so that my post subjects would be more in-keeping with real topical issues... such as Halloween. But I guess I will now write about what happened last weekend, and I will probably have to skip Halloween for now. I'm going to a Halloween party tonight – having been over-enthusiastic about my Halloween style for a month or so. I've already tested my idea and it seemed to work well – and I took some photos too, but I think I cannot publish them yet! I might be attending another Halloween party (with totally different people) on All Saints' Day, and I cannot let all those friends stalking my blog see what I have planned. ;D

Last weekend was all about partying, probably in order to celebrate my birthday. There was an event called Very Possessed: 20 years of Spinefarm records in Tampere, with MyGrain, Profane Omen, Metsatöll and Ensiferum playing there. I went there merely because of Ensiferum, which was also the main act. We did not even go there early enough to see MyGrain, whereas Metsatöll, playing second, was entertaining. They are from Estonia, singing in Estonian, and it probably sounds more amusing to Finns than it would to English-speaking people, for example. I like Estonian although I basically don't understand it (much). However, the vocalist pretty much spoke in Finnish, yet it was obvious it was not his first language.


Please excuse the quality of my photos again. I didn't want to concentrate on taking photos so I only had my little compact camera with me, and hence, the photos aren't breathtaking.


Unfortunately enough, I began to feel very bad before Ensiferum's turn, and by the time I was standing as close to the stage as possible, waiting for them, I no longer knew whether I would faint, vomit or just crack up. And the feeling did not go away during the night anymore. However, as stubborn as I am, I couldn't bring myself to leaving my spot and looking for a place to sit – I thought that since I had come to see them, I would be listening to them as close as possible; that's how I usually enjoy my gigs. Violent mosh pits behind my back didn't help at all, and whenever I couldn't see a single friend I felt a bit vulnerable, wondering what would actually have happened if I had fainted there.

However, I stood there for the whole time, and I guess it was worth it. I got to shake hands with two members of Ensiferum, and such little details are the things that make gigs unforgettable to me. Like this. 

I also want to embed one Ensiferum song here – one of the less well-known old songs. I've been listening to it quite a lot lately.

Ensiferum – Battle Song

Onto other matters then... Fear and trembling (see the post title) is a novel by Amélie Nothomb, which I have read long ago – it's entertaining enough if you're interested in Japanese culture. However, what I was actually referring to with those words was probably the feeling – or feelings – which I have been going through lately.

Although this is not a ranting blog, I could explain the situation a bit as it affects me so much, and probably kills my blogging mood every now and then too. My dog's condition has kept me downcast for a while now. She's just so very tired... And so very weak. I'm afraid of losing her any time now, although she could live for years still with her medication. However, no one knows how she's doing for real. Now, I certainly have to point out that she is most likely not in pain, and receiving such treatment a vet recommended. I'm saying this because I don't want to hear anything about being cruel for not putting her down. However, it's heartbreaking to see that a dog who was active and happy back in July is now very slow, inactive and tired. And I'm taking the whole issue particularly hard. I've been crying so much lately, especially when I go to sleep. The other day I started to cry at work only because I was thinking of her. I know I cannot do much to her. Then I feel bad if I try to think of something else or even have some fun. I know I shouldn't refrain from living as she's not dead yet and might not even be dying any time soon. But she means a world to me. Maybe I'll make a post of her some time in the future to explain these things better – to elaborate on what exactly is so special about her. Naturally, each and every pet should be very special to its owners, yet my dog has quirks that have been relatively "widely acknowledged".

...I should start making myself up for the party soon. Should probably eat a bit before it too. Yet I'll still mention one thing, my newest creative project. Recently I purchased four photo frames; one decorative and three simple ones of the same style. Yet I won't be putting photos into the frames but I'll pull myself together and draw/design something to fill them with. The single frame will be reserved for something Edgar Allan Poe inspired, whereas those three... Well, they will all have the same theme, maybe you can guess what it is.

Already got this far with the Poe piece!

Now I need to attend to other things. So long, and happy Halloween! And welcome aboard, my newest readers! ♥


  1. So sorry about your dog. Such things are extremely difficult to go through, but they fill our souls with the bittersweet joy of nurturing and unconditional love. Make every moment count, but also keep time for yourself and things you enjoy so you don't dwell too much. Try to set the guilt aside, although I know that can be difficult when you care so much!

    Looking forward to seeing your party outfit! And what a splendid drawing. You are insanely talented. Can't wait to see more!!

  2. VictorianKitty, thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to set aside all the unnecessarily negative thoughts. Part of the problem is the fact that my dog lives with my parents (as she couldn't settle for a big city) and I feel bad for not going to see her – although she's probably not mad at me for that. Yet I know she's in very good care.
    And thanks for the compliment! Hopefully I can get around to posting more interesting pics in the near future.


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