Friday 13 April 2012

Tears won't dry

"Look to the mirror // What do you see? // Beneath the shadows // Hiding your face // I can see hatred // Consuming fear"
– Dreamtale; Tears

Oh yeah, I've spent the last two days crying, or, only one eye has. I don't know why; one eye just started running a race with my nose a few days ago. A mild flu or something, but it's exceptional for my eyes to react in such a way although they are generally quite wet, and tears escape my eyes very easily when I go to bed and press my head against a pillow. And out in the wind etc... And my eye is not sore, red or irritated, so I really don't know why, but it's damn frustrating to look weepy all the time! I noticed the issue yesterday morning after applying my regular heavy make-up, and I had trouble with it all the day. In the evening I had to find a good solution and I tried using Grimas make-up to draw very heavy lining on my upper lids, but it didn't save my looks. And today... Well, I knew I had better surrender.


I went to work wearing only very light makeup without bright eyeshadow or any eyeliner at all. And although I can easily leave my apartment without any makeup, I don't like it if some external factors determine whether I can wear makeup or not. But yeah, just one day during Easter I popped to a kiosk in the central marketplace without makeup, and it wasn't really a problem. But I just like draw something around my eyes! (A side note: the makeup products I use are not the most sensitive to melting or smudging. Even the eyeliner I generally use was advertised as being tear-resistant or something! But oh, I tell you; it's not. And Grimas didn't work either; my eye really is running SO much that absolutely nothing stays there now. Oh, I even tried some UDPP and light eyeshadow today. Nope.)

Only one thing made this agony a bit more bearable. Last night a friend and I went to a local club to see Dreamtale live (yes, again). I guess we both were slightly hesitant since it was Thursday and we both had to get up for work in the morning. Well, I live in the city center so I'm not dependent on public transport, but the gig began probably over an hour later than it had been announced, so well yeah... In fact Dreamtale was only a warm-up act, with Humangod being the main, but I was more interested in Dreamtale anyway. Had they started on time, I would have liked to stay there to see Humangod as well, they're interesting after all, but by the time Dreamtale were done, it was already only six hours to when my alarm would go off for the first time (=six hours and a half before I get up). Oh well, I pretty much ran home and knowing that it would be nothing but a waste of time to try to apply my regular makeup in the morning, I could sleep for another fifteen minutes. :D

I don't have photos of the gig, didn't feel like taking any. Well, the guys hadn't changed much from a few weeks back. The gig was particularly enjoyable though! Unlike the last time, they played each and every song I wished to hear! That said; it was worth the short night and feeling all sleepy.

Back onto my makeup. I feel a bit strange when I'm without makeup or wearing very light makeup like in that photo. I don't know what it is, but I feel somehow... Okay well, when I'm totally without makeup I feel that I look like a boy. Not a man, but a boy. With light makeup I feel that I just look old and tired when my face lacks contrast. However, I popped to a pharmacy today after work, to get something for the running nose, and the pharmacist was about to recommend one product to me which was only for people over 18. Then she actually had to ask if I'm old enough. Thank you my lady, you made my day. Being sleepy and slightly sick, I had a stronger feeling than usual that I looked like I was over thirty.

I've noticed a strange thing; I think I manage to babble quite a lot in my blog posts. It's very strange; I'm comparing my style of writing to what I used to do with my studies. I always wrote compact essays and such, but often got better grades than those with twice as much text. Back then I couldn't really prolong what I had got to say with useless words! It seems I'm capable of it nowadays.

This entry has probably turned out boring by now, so I will entertain you with a bit of art for both eyes and ears. At first a portrait which I finished... Hmm, a month ago I suppose, because I think I finished it four months to the day after my dog's death. Well, a portrait of her. I actually had a print made of it for my parents; it was sent straight to them so I haven't seen it yet, but they've received it already.


I don't have much to say about it, I just felt the need to immortalize her sweetness once more. It was made completely using Photoshop CS5.

And then, candy for yours ears. I already embedded a few Dreamtale songs in this blog post but you will get another one here. I was somewhat surprised they played this last night, but it was awesome to hear it!


And one more thing. Sad, sad news. I mentioned Freedom Call coming to my hometown in that same metalfest entry – their concert date was confirmed and quite soon also cancelled! The whole event where they were supposed to play got cancelled. I'm so very disappointed! :C So long!

12 comments:

  1. Åh det är nog just därför du får bra betyg på dina uppsatser, att du använder orden väl, kan det inte vara så? Jag tycker att du skriver väldigt bra på din blogg också. Jag är urusel på att skriva bloggposter (därför är jag så noga med bilder;) ) men när jag skriver tekniska rapporter är jag en mästare (tur att jag är tekniker). Vilken otroligt vacker bild på din hund, hon har ett fantastiskt utryck i sina ögon. Du är talangfull!

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    1. Tack, det är trösteligt om mina bloggposter är roliga att läsa. Det är bara bra att vara lite noga med bilder eftersom läsare vanligen uppskattar tilltalande foton. Och tack igen, min hund var så vacker när hon levde. :)

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about the runny eyes and nose. I've been burning up with a fever for the past two or so days, but I can only imagine how bothersome it must be to constantly have a running nose or eyes. I'm also sorry to hear about your dog .. especially since I have two at home.

    I babble a lot on my blog. >_<

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    1. Well thanks, running is easing probably now, though the medicine hurts my nose inside. :D But at least I'm no longer crying rivers here. And thanks for the sympathy, it's been five months now but she's still in my mind very often.

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  3. Hyvin herttainen hauva. Otan (jälkikäteisesti mutta kuitenkin) osaa. Mutta todella kumma tuo yksinään vuotava silmä, tulee hieman jollakin perverssillä tavalla mieleen Batmanin Kaksinaama. Jos muita oireita ilmenee, suosittelen aloe vera-rasvaa.

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    1. Kiitos, eiköhän pahin ala olla ohi vaikka koira onkin mielessä kutakuinkin päivittäin. Silmäkin vuotaa vähemmän, nenäsumute oli sen verran tujua kamaa, että taisi kaikki nesteet kadota. :D

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  4. That portrait is amazing. It's also quite harrowing as your dog's facial expression, coloring and shape all remind me of a dog I lost nearly two years ago.

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    1. Thank you, I also understand what you mean – I cannot help paying attention to photos of dogs of the same breed and color as mine, and especially if I see a dog like that somewhere live, I really cannot help thinking how much they resemble my late friend.

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  5. What a sweet portrait. And very well done!! It's impossible to ever forget the love we have shared with the special animals in our lives. It's something that no human relationship can ever compare to, in many ways.

    I sometimes have to go without eye makeup due to allergies. I'd just water it all off or rub it off due to the itchiness. I know what you mean about feeling strange without your normal level of makeup contrast. I think I look so uninteresting (not unattractive, just uninteresting) without makeup; it doesn't feel like "me."

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    1. Thank you! Indeed, such relationships are unique in their own right and I wouldn't even try to compare that kind of friendship with what I have with humans.

      Oh yes, uninteresting is probably the word I'm looking for. I felt particularly awkward "not being like me" when I had to celebrate two people's birthdays looking like that, and I felt like I hadn't bothered to make myself up for such special occasions.

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  6. hm so was it a cold or allergy in the end? (well good as long as its better now :-))

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    1. Just a cold, I barely am allergic in such a way that I would react with my eyes. But yeah, it's gone. :>

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